confessions of an average dude

Will you hold my hand when I say I'm lonely?
Will you hug me when I say I'm cold?
Will you kiss me when I say I yearn for your concern?
Will you comfort me when I say I'm down?
Will you say you miss me when I tell you I miss you?
Will you believe when I say I've never stopped loving you?

Will you?

He always drank to happy moments cause someone once told him that one should always drink to happy times and not unhappy times. When he was happy, alcohol tasted so sweet that he could go on all night drinking without feeling drunk. Even if he was drunk, he was happy.

When he opened a can of beer, the smell immediately filled his nose. It smelled so terrible as if the beer was already spoiled. His first mouthful got him drinking more to numb the awful taste. From his first can, he slowly opened another and another. Before he know it, his head started to feel heavy.

Then thoughts started running wild. He thought of what just happened before he started drinking. Every single word she said,

"Confused, feelings, changing.."

He never thought that this day would come. The feeling of losing something is so strong that he prays he can brave through this ordeal.

After five cans of beer, he realised it's enough to numb his feelings.
Tonight, he drank to his sadness. He was abusing alcohol.

Love is like having a balloon in your hand.

You have ways of keeping it close to you. Holding the string tight, tying it around your wrist. You only have one thing in mind which is making sure the balloon doesn't fly away.

Everytime when there's an hiccup in the relationship, a knot that is tighten to the hand becomes loose. Usually the person isn't aware of it until it completely loses its ability to hang around the wrist.

Is the relationship that you're in properly secured?

He could relate everything to this song.

The feelings he's having, the sounds he's hearing, the things he's seeing.

Comforting yet heavy.

He thought he had everything under control.

On the surface, he kept everything in line. Actually under those near perfect expression, everything is in a mess. Endless thoughts flood his mind daily.

Never has he had anyone making him feel like this. She's just a drug that he can't live without. Constantly craving for more but he knows he can't have it. His heart aches, the only cure is to sleep it away only to realize that it's another cycle when he wakes up the next day.

He has yet to realize that he was never in control, rather he was losing control.