confessions of an average dude

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:33:36 GMT

this...is...not.....dead....yet.

i wonder whats the purpose of a password protected post?

Love is..

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:39:46 GMT

They say once you're in love, you're a different person.

To be honest, I actually do agree to that! Well, after being attached for 3 months (coming to 4), my lifestyle has pretty much tweaked a little. Goodbye to lonely sundays and boring after-work nights. Hello to random outings, lazy weekends and weekly grocery shopping!

And just for the record, mutual grooming is part and parcel of the whole deal and that includes putting you through the misery to look good. Lately, the gf has decided to take things into her own hands and begin the journey of plucking my eyebrows. Not that I'm complaining but let's just say it isn't always a smooth ride. As much as I hate the misery she puts my through each time she tries to pluck them hairs, I appreciate the effort for doing so!

So here you go,
Thank you darling!

P.s. I know you'd never expect me to blog again but isn't such surprises wonderful? :p

The Hamster

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:34:31 GMT

He never thought he would find someone who could share his joys and sorrows but he did. The feeling of being wanted never felt so endearing.

The happiness cannot be described in words nor explained in actions. It's a feeling only he can comprehend.

His smiles are genuine and no longer done out of courtesy. Life is different now simply because he has someone to love.

Update.

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:57:15 GMT

I is have a girlfriend.

She has a fat ass.

Shared Moment

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:05:35 GMT

She never fails to capture everyone's attention with her megawatt smile.

With a click of her clutch, everyone turned to see who it was. There she stands at the door so elegant. Her hair so thick and luscious, her dress fitted so perfectly on her contoured body. Her skin as fair as snow, her eyes gorgeous like stars twinkling in the skies.

Her eyes surveyed the room and their eyes caught each other for a brief moment. He wished time would stop and enjoy this moment they shared. Soon, embarrassment caught up with him and his face flushed.

He can't seem to comprehend this feeling he has simply because only she makes his heart flutter.

Will you?

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:24:10 GMT

Will you hold my hand when I say I'm lonely?
Will you hug me when I say I'm cold?
Will you kiss me when I say I yearn for your concern?
Will you comfort me when I say I'm down?
Will you say you miss me when I tell you I miss you?
Will you believe when I say I've never stopped loving you?

Will you?

Dreaming and Hoping

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 07:59:21 GMT

He always drank to happy moments cause someone once told him that one should always drink to happy times and not unhappy times. When he was happy, alcohol tasted so sweet that he could go on all night drinking without feeling drunk. Even if he was drunk, he was happy.

When he opened a can of beer, the smell immediately filled his nose. It smelled so terrible as if the beer was already spoiled. His first mouthful got him drinking more to numb the awful taste. From his first can, he slowly opened another and another. Before he know it, his head started to feel heavy.

Then thoughts started running wild. He thought of what just happened before he started drinking. Every single word she said,

"Confused, feelings, changing.."

He never thought that this day would come. The feeling of losing something is so strong that he prays he can brave through this ordeal.

After five cans of beer, he realised it's enough to numb his feelings.
Tonight, he drank to his sadness. He was abusing alcohol.

Love is in the Air

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:57:03 GMT

Love is like having a balloon in your hand.

You have ways of keeping it close to you. Holding the string tight, tying it around your wrist. You only have one thing in mind which is making sure the balloon doesn't fly away.

Everytime when there's an hiccup in the relationship, a knot that is tighten to the hand becomes loose. Usually the person isn't aware of it until it completely loses its ability to hang around the wrist.

Is the relationship that you're in properly secured?

Comforting Sounds

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 10:54:39 GMT

He could relate everything to this song.

The feelings he's having, the sounds he's hearing, the things he's seeing.

Comforting yet heavy.

Feeling grey

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 18:17:10 GMT

He thought he had everything under control.

On the surface, he kept everything in line. Actually under those near perfect expression, everything is in a mess. Endless thoughts flood his mind daily.

Never has he had anyone making him feel like this. She's just a drug that he can't live without. Constantly craving for more but he knows he can't have it. His heart aches, the only cure is to sleep it away only to realize that it's another cycle when he wakes up the next day.

He has yet to realize that he was never in control, rather he was losing control.

Whatever you want

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:40:46 GMT

Suddenly his world came crumbling down.

Humming to the melody of his latest favourite song, he just lay in bed thinking of what has just happened. Those lines just kept repeating in his head. The confidence he once build up is slowly disappearing.

He only wants to hide now cause there's nothing he can do.

Magical moments

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:56:30 GMT

He will never forget the moment he saw her fell asleep in his arms neither will he forget the look on her face when she was still asleep. The look so angelic and innocent. Just as he plants a kiss on her forehead, she opens her eyes and all she did was to smile.

"Good morning."

Before she could say anything, he told her not to say anything because he wanted to remember this moment. A promise they both had, which was to wake up to each other.

As she embraced him for a hug, he only had one wish on his mind. To never let go from her arms. No more virtual hugs, he finally felt the real feeling of being hugged by a loved one.

WIth that, he smiled to himself and he knew he was in for something really beautiful.

Komplikated.

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:53:09 GMT

"He has never gotten what he wanted or wished for in life."

As he sat at the beach with the cool wind blowing against his face, He smiled as thoughts ran through his head. Slowly, his smile became a monotonous stare. Looking back at what has happened throughout the year. He didn't know whether to smile or to cry. He definitely has his share of ups and downs but something just seems to make him have that ache he has in his heart.

Looking up in the sky, it was filled with stars. Some twinkling, some just stood shining so brightly. He was never interested in astrology but someone once told him that those stars are the star signs lined up. With vague knowledge, he could only point out his star sign and coincidentally it was just beside her star sign.

Forcing a wry smile, he thought maybe it's fate. He thinks he found something he always wanted but he's unsure of it.

He thinks he fell in love with you.

Miles apart

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 10:51:52 GMT

There's so many things in between them.

To her it may be age, distance and priorities. To him, its just her doubts. It's been a long time since he felt something like that. That fuzzy feeling that makes him have a heavy heart.

Pictures and sms texts are the only things that bring him close to her. There's so much he wants to tell her but he doesn't know how to.

All he says to her is "I miss you and I'd really want to be with you."

happy birthday.

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 19:01:46 GMT

"He thought he was going to have a memorable one this year."

People always told him that birthdays were one of the best days in our lives. He had it all planned out even before the month of september came. Slowly he waited for this big day to come.

Because of what happened weeks before his day, he lost all hope in birthdays. He never looked at birthdays the same way again cause it never fail to remind him of what happened. With high hopes that he held, it was all gone it minutes. He never knew why it happened and till now he still wonders how did it even happened.

On his day, he only had memories of what he planned to do. Not because he never planned it well, it's because he didn't have the chance to execute it. There, the girl he loved just slipped right through his fingers.

Like a broken record.

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:41:29 GMT

"Like a broken record, he's stuck at where he is."

It has been 3 weeks already. He behaves like it just happened yesterday. On the surface, he shows he's fine but only his close friends know what he's going through. The thoughts never seem to end, the heartaches never seem to ease, the heavy heart never seem to lighten up.

Everyday for him seem monotonous. As much as he tries to occupy his mind, he goes home only to realise that he misses her even more. Each time the radio plays his favourite song, his heart goes out to her and hopes she's doing well.

He knows she has moved on with her life long ago. Not taking another look back on what they once had. He still stands where she left him and has not moved an inch since. He thought he had found someone he could love with all his heart but until 3 weeks ago, he was proven wrong.

The saddest part is that the only way he keeps contact with her is by the pictures they took.

Perfect strangers

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:31:27 GMT

Slowly scrolling down the list of numbers in his phone, he stops at this particular name. Faint memories of what happened slowly filled his mind. He thought how perfect it would be if things worked out well between them.

He has hopes of seeing her at places where they used to go. Dressed up in that pretty red dress, her hair nicely combed back. Her ever wide grins and of course, her melodic laughter that sounds so cheerful. Her looks so pleasing that you'll never get bored looking at.

Times like these never fail to bring back those memories. How it makes the heart skip a beat when their eyes meet, their hands fit perfectly into one another and how they feel as one when they wrap their hands around each other giving comfort.

Like how the smashing pumpkin would say, "Strangers when we meet, lovers when we sleep."

Shoes and you

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 16:35:33 GMT

"Being in love is like wearing a pair of shoes."

When its new, it fits perfectly and it feels really good. You can run, jump and somersault in it without pain. Similarly, when you're in love with someone, not only it feels good. It's a feeling better than celebrating your 21st birthday. It's like being a kid all over again when you get contended easily.

Overtime, the shoes starts to wear out. From a small hole, slowly it becomes bigger. Just like being in love, the first hiccup is still bearable. Slowly from a hiccup, it becomes a question of whether it is worth carrying on. Pain is felt when you try to run. Just like how you would feel when you know she's not there, your heart aches.

When you realise that the shoe can no longer keep your feet sheltered, you decide to find a new pair. Just like love, when you decide that the fun is over, you just find another one to replace the old one.

Just like the old pair of shoes, he's torn and tattered. He had only a sole purpose, which was to be the pair that you can land safely when you take the leap but for the fact that you never took that leap. You just took him for a ride that brought him hopes and expectations.

Nowhere, now here.

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:26:50 GMT

He inhales the next puff deep, just as he slowly exhales the memories slowly form in the midst of all the smoke. As he sits listless on his chair, Jon Mclaughlin's Beautiful disaster was playing in the background. His heart weighed a ton all this while.

It all started with the night when they first met, the flowy hair that made her whole appearance mysterious. WIth her perfectly trimmed brows and her captivating eyes, she was like a prom queen. She was so perfect that it all seemed like a dream.

Everything felt like a walk in park, he begins his journey with no expectations. The deeper he traveled, slowly he started to get lost. Nevertheless, prominent structures of what it seem like glimpse of hope made him continue with what he already started.

After the endless walking and searching, he realised that he was nowhere but right where he started from.

For you.

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 09:43:08 GMT

Each time their lips met, he can never describe the feeling. Almost feeling like a young boy again, he only smiles and hopes the moment to last forever. Every of the little things she does, it makes him wanna try harder to win her heart for he has already given all of him for her.

Random phone calls, random messages, random emails. This is about how they communicate with each other. The fun they have when they're together is more that just fun. It's a bond that is made stronger by understanding each other.

When they meet, they're like in a world of their own where nothing matters except them. To him, she bring happiness and that is all he ask for.

Pictures of You

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:05:18 GMT

He always had her in his mind.

Time after time, he would take random looks of her. He can't help but smile each time he look at those pictures. His mind would go on a ride, thinking of only the good times. The thought of her infectious laughter made him break a smile from the serious look on his face.

He was never a person with words. Everytime when he wants to tell her how much he wants to be with her, he can't seem to find the right words. She doesn't know he has so much to tell her. When he sends her to her doorstep, his mind just goes into a blank and it stops there.

All he does when he gets home is to look at the pictures of you and be glad those moments were captured and kept as memories.

Come close.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 19:50:07 GMT

Everytime he stands in front of her, he looks into her eyes, he can't help but admire the sparkle of it. That magical moment is something he looks forward to each time they met. The feeling is so special that words could not describe how it felt.

He could only imagine those immaculate moments whenever they're apart. Images of her keeps running through his mind. Random flashback of their previous dates also reminded him that he has decided to dedicate his heart to her.

Each time they embrace each other, He feels the comfort of her arms stroking his back and the warmth of their bodies against one another. It's a kind of tingling feeling that makes him smile to himself whenever he thinks about it.

All this while, she never said anything. Maybe the only thing she said was, "Come close."

Tuesdays is love.

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:57:58 GMT

"Every tuesday is like being in love again."

Emerging from the train station, she arrives fashionably late, taking small quick steps. Listening to the sounds of her favourite band Saosin, she looks amongst the busy crowd for her date. She breaks out a smile when she spots him from afar.

Fingers interlocked, continuous laughter, name calling, everything feels different when they're together. There's no barrier between them, random conversations and moments of closeness all mashed into one. She is having the weird fuzzy feeling in her now, like butterflies in her stomach.

But behind those laughters, there's this part of her which makes her think if he's the one she can count on. The benefit of doubt is greater than the feeling of love. She's never too sure of what love is especially when she got bitten not once, not twice but thrice.

Nevertheless, he is patient with what he thinks might be a beautiful ending. He chooses to stay and lend the support for her, to be the invisible pillar of strength. While she might be oblivious to his well being, he's like a brother, a friend and a lover to her. Ever ready to catch when she falls.

Coincidentally, her favourite read is, "Tuesdays with Morrie".

Let's race!

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:17:18 GMT

Hopes was what she promised him, dreams was what she assured him. It seems like he was running a race. He has he competitors to outrun but he's scared of losing.

Just like his opponents, he tries to put himself in their shoes to know what is it that he can do to win the race, to be one that crosses the line first. During the initial stages, it was an open race. Anyone had the chance to be the winner. As he approaches the final bend, he realises that he has 1 opponent that is as quick as he is.

Ironically, the faster he runs he feels he's starting to slow down. Just like how fatigue affects the runner, jealousy is starting to take a toll on him. Losing his momentum, his opponent slowly overtakes.

"AH, Ouch!"

The next thing he knows, his face is against the floor. The pungent smell of the track filled his nose and he realised he might just lose the chance to win the race. Undecided, he cannot make up his mind if he should give up or carry on the race.

Just like how he fell in the race, he is losing hope in this courtship he invested in.

Just like a flower.

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:08:50 GMT

Just like a flower, he blooms when he gets her attention. He enjoy every bit of it but there's one thing he's unaware of. That is, it's not forever.

"You're a real nice person and I enjoy your company."

He hears words like this everytime the day ends and he's soaking it in. Whether or not she mean it, he still buys it. After all, it makes him feel good so why not.

Knowing that he's just like a flower, he chooses to live in denial. He refuses to believe that flowers wither and die off after sometime, just like his attention to the girl that he fancies.